CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy recommendations to God.

PRESIDENT

Leaps short buldings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if sea is calm
Talks with God.

EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT

Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special request is approved.

VICE PRESIDENT

Barely clears a storage shed
Loses a tug-of-war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occassionally addressed by God.

GENERAL MANAGER

Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by locomotives
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals.

MANAGER

Runs into buildings
Recognizes a locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to walls.

TRAINEE

Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings
Says, "Look at the choo-choo"
Wets himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself.

SECRETARY

Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
She is GOD!!!!