MURPHY'S LAWS OF WARFARE

 1.  You are not a superman.

 2.  If it's stupid but works, it's not stupid.

 3.  Don't look conspicuous -- it draws fire 
     (this is why aircraft carriers are 
     called "Bomb Magnets").

 4.  When in doubt, empty your magazine.

 5.  Never share a foxhole with anyone 
     braver than you.

 6.  Never forget that your equipment was 
     made by the lowest bidder.

 7.  If your attack is going really well, 
     it's an ambush!

 8.  No plan survives the first contact intact.

 9.  Five second grenade fuzes will burn down 
     in three seconds.

10.  Try to look unimportant -- the bad guys 
     may be short of ammo.

11.  If you are forward of your position, the 
     artillery will fall short.

12.  The enemy diversion you are ignoring is 
     the main attack.

13.  The important things are always simple.

14.  The simple things are always hard.

15.  The easy way is always mined.

16.  If you're short of everything except enemy, 
     you're in combat.

17.  When you've secured an area, don't forget 
     to tell the enemy.

18.  Incoming fire has the right of way.

19.  Friendly fire isn't!

20.  If the enemy is in range... SO ARE YOU!!

21.  No combat unit has ever passed inspection.

22.  Beer math: 2 beers times 37 men = 49 cases.

23.  Body count math: 
     2 guerillas + 1 AK-47 + 2 pigs = 30 enemy KIA.

24.  Items that must be together to work 
     usually can not be shipped together.

25.  Radios will fail as soon as you need 
     fire support desperately.

26.  Anything you do can get you shot... 
     including doing nothing.

27.  Tracers work both ways.

28.  The only thing more accurate than 
     incoming enemy fire is incoming 
     "friendly fire" (see #19).

29.  Make it tough for the enemy to get in, and 
     you've made it tough for you to get out.

30.  If you take more than your fair share of 
     objectives, you will have more than your 
     fair share of objectives to take.

31.  When both sides are convinced that they 
     are about to lose, they're both right.

32.  Professional soldiers are predictable, 
     but there are just too many damn amateurs!

33.  Murphy was a grunt.