MURPHY'S LAWS of TECHNOLOGY

-- The first myth of management is that it exists.

-- A failure will not appear 'til a unit has 
   passed final inspection.

-- New systems generate new problems.

-- To err is human, but to really foul things up 
   requires a computer.

-- We don't know one millionth of one percent about 
   anything.

-- Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

-- Any sufficiently advanced technology is 
   indistinguishable from magic.

-- A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds 
   as 20 men working 20 years make.

-- Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss 
   putting in an honest days work.

-- Some people manage by the book, even though they 
   don't know who wrote the book or even what book.

-- The primary function of the design engineer is 
   to make things difficult for the fabricator and 
   impossible for the serviceman.

-- To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts 
   the job will take the longest and cost the most.

-- After all is said and done, a hell of a lot 
   more is said than done.

-- Any circuit design must contain at least one 
   part that is obsolete, two parts which are 
   unavailable and three parts which are still 
   under development.

-- If the experiment works, something has gone wrong.

-- A complex system that works is invariably found 
   to have evolved from a simple system that works.

-- If mathematically you end up with the incorrect 
   answer, try multiplying by the page number.

-- Computers are unreliable, but humans are even 
   more unreliable.  Any system which depends on 
   human reliablility is unreliable.

-- All things are possible except skiing through 
   a revolving door.

-- The only perfect science is hind-sight.

-- Under the most rigorously controlled conditions 
   of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and 
   other variables the organism will continue to do 
   as it damn well pleases.

-- If you can't understand it, it is intuitively 
   obvious.

-- The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the 
   greater the odds that the competition already 
   has the order.

-- In designing any type of construction, no 
   overall dimension can be totalled  
   correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday.  
   The correct total will become self- 
   evident at 8:30 a.m. on Monday.

-- Fill what's empty.  Empty what's full.  And 
   scratch where it itches.

-- Give all orders verbally.  Never write anything 
   down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File."

-- Work smarder and not harder and be careful 
   of yor speling.

-- If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.