EMOTICONS:  Internet Facial Expressions

   :-)  smile

   :-(  frown

   ;-)  is being sly, winking

   :-O  is shocked

 ~ :-(  is particularly angry

 :-(*)  is sick of recent network traffic and is about to vomit

   #-)  partied all night

   :*)  is drunk

   |-)  is falling asleep

   :-*  just ate a sour pickle

~~~8-O  needs to fix frayed cord on terminal

  :-{)  has moustache

  :-)}  has beard

  O:-)  has halo

   8-)  wears glasses

   B-)  wears sunglasses

   O-)  wears scuba mask, or is a cyclops

   (-:  is Australian

 +O:-)  is the Pope

  ]:-)  is the Devil

 =|:-)  is Abe Lincoln

=):-)~  is Uncle Sam

  >:*)  is Bozo the Clown

*<|:-)  is Santa Clause

   :-O
   :-O  is a barbershop quartet
   :-O
   :-O

  [:|]  is a robot

  =:-)  is a punk rocker

     )  is a Cheshire cat

   8:]  is a gorilla

    8)  is a frog

   :8)  is a pig

  3:-O  is a cow

~~~~8}  is a snake

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SMILEY EMOTICONS

:o .......................... Surprised

:O .......................... REALLY Surprised

:D .......................... Laughing/smiling

:+ .......................... Kiss

:* .......................... Whistle

;) .......................... Wink

:x .......................... My lips are sealed

}:( ......................... Mad

=) .......................... Smiley face

:( .......................... Frown

:'( ......................... crying

0:) ......................... Angel (Halo is a zero)

(\O/) ....................... Angel

\o/ \o/ \o/ ................. Praising God

<3 <3 <3 .................... Hearts

())))___crayola___)))> ...... Crayola Crayon

(::waving::) ................ Waving

(:D) ........................ Big Grin

{{{a screen name here}}} .... Personal Cyber hugs

{{{}}} ...................... Cyber Hugs

@--->-->----   .............. Rose   
@---}---}------

{^@^}  ...................... Pig

<*{{}}><
<*}}}}}>< ................... fish
><)))))">
<*{{}}><

(^ o ^ )  ................... Bozo The Clown-----> Alt 789 twice

, : , )   ................... 3D Face w/eybrows

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FOOD AND DRINK

-------------========(__() .... Anyone for a marshmallow

[_Þ [_Þ [_Þ [_Þ ............... Coffee for everyone...

(_)? (_)? (_)? (_)? ........... coffee anyone?

(_)? (_)? \_/ \_/ ............. coffee and drinks for all

<(_)? ......................... cream it is

\&&&&&&&/  .................... Pretzels!

\66666666/  ................... Shrimp!

\********/  ................... Popcorn!

^<**>^  ^<**>^  ............... Hot steamed Maryland blue crabs : )

\_><{{{{">_/   ................ Whole Fish Soup!!

[::] [::] [::] [::]  .......... Fig Newtons

(#) (#) (#)  .................. Warm Peanut butter cookies

\--------/   .................. Chicken soup for all your sick friends

(@)  (@)  (@)  ................ Fresh Cinnamon Rolls!

OooOOoOooO  ................... Onion rings

\__/   \__/  .................. Chinese Take Out

\ ) ) ) ) ) /    (~~~~~)  ..... Chips and Dip

@@@@ (_) (_) (_)  ............. Chocolate Chip cookies and Moo juice ;)

(|======|)(|======|)  ......... Hot dogs

(m) (m) (_)  (_)  ............. M&M's and Koolaid

o  o  o  o  o   ............... Single Oreos

O O O O O  .................... Double Stuff Oreos!

<) <) <) <) <)   .............. Pizza!

c(__) c(__)   ................. Steaming mugs of hot cocoa!

     //
 (****)   ..................... RootBeer Float!
 \    /
  l__I

[|||]D  [|||]D   .............. Root Beer!

(_)D (_)D    .................. Freshly brewed coffee!

[_]D [_]D   ................... Ice cold beer!

[Y]   [Y]   ................... Champagne!

\%/    ........................ Martini!

\_/ \_/ ....................... Soda

(~~)? (~~)3 ................... Coffee mugs

(_)? .......................... Tea cups of fine china

(~) ........................... Chilled cups of fresh juice

[%]D .......................... Hot cocoa with mini marshmellows

(#$#$#$#$#$)  ................. Plate of hash browns and onions

[:::] [:::] ................... Poptarts for all

(sgeg)=== ..................... Pan of scrambled eggs

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ABBREVIATIONS:

AAMOF = As A Matter Of Fact
ADN = Any Day Now
AFK = Away From Keyboard
ASAP = As Soon As Possible
BAC = By Any Chance
BAK = Back At Keyboard
BBS = Be Back Soon
BRB = Be Right Back
BTW = By The Way
CUL = See you later
C U L8TER = See You Later
C YA = See Ya
EOS = End Of Show
FAAK = Falling Asleep At Keyboard
<g> = grin
GMTA = Great Minds Think Alike
GR8 = Great
HLOL = Hystericly Laughing Out Loud
HLOLARAWCHAWMP = Hysterically Laughing Out Loud And Rolling
                 Around While Clapping Hands And Wetting My Pants
HTH = Hope This Helps
IDK = I Don't Know/ I Didn't Know
IMHO = In My Humble Opinion
IRL = In Real Life
ITA = I Totally Agree
JK = Joke
J/K = Just Kidding
LOL or lol = Laughing Out Loud
LTNS = Long Time No See
LUVYA = Love Ya
MYOB = Mind Your Own Business
MWAH = Sound Of A Kiss
NP =  No Problem
OIC = Oh, I See
OTOH = On The Other Hand
PTSS = Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome
ROTF = Rolling On The Floor
ROTFL = Rolling On The Floor Laughing
ROFLMAO = rolling on the floor laughing my ass off
ROTFWTIME = Rolling On The Floor With Tears In My Eyes
Snert = Snot Nosed Egotistical Rotten Teenager
SS = So Sorry
TPTB = The Powers That Be
TTFN = Ta Ta For Now
TY =   Thank you
WB = Welcome Back
WBS = Write Back Soon
WPYS = Who Pulled Your String
WTG = Way To Go
YCGB = You Can't Get Better

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Well, how about some "ass cons"? Here goes:

(_!_) ..... A regular ass

(__!__) ... A fat ass

(!)  ...... A tight ass

(_._) ..... A flat ass

(_^_) ..... A bubble ass

(_*_) ..... A sore ass

(_!__) .... A lop-sided ass

{_!_} ..... A swishy ass

(_o_) ..... An ass that's been around

(_O_) ..... An ass that's been around even more

(_x_) ..... Kiss my ass

(_X_) ..... Leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) ... A tired ass

(_o^o_) ... A wise ass

(_13_) .... An unlucky ass

(_$_) ..... Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) ..... Dumb Ass

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First there were :) smiley emoticons,
Then there were (_)_) butt emoticons.
Now there are (.)(.) emoti-boobies!

(.)(.)            Boobies

( . )( . )        Bigger Boobies

( O )( O )        Pamela Anderson Boobies

(,)(,)            Boobies with Pierced Nipples

<.> <.>           Very Little Boobies

( * )( * )        Implanted Boobies (very pert)

(   ) (   )       Nursing Mom Boobies
 (.)   (.)

(^)(^)            Madonna Boobies

-<.><.>-          Teeny Bikini Boobies

--(.)(.)--        Regular Bikini Boobies

---( . )( . )---  Mondo Bikini Boobies

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